the independence days

last week i went to MGM (malam gema merdeka) of malaysians..
the sad thing even i cancelled my plan to go to indo's independence ceremony becoz of sumthin that i forgot ady.. but i still can go to malaysians independence day event.. so sad case.. so shameful of me.. i didn't even interested to go to "pesta kampoeng" the indo independence day event, and i go to mgm juz coz of get dragged by josh..
haiz.. but still i got a good knowledge and be even more proud of my own country

in the MGM it was told that malaysians start to make their independence movement because of indo's political heroes such as bung Karno and other people that i remember when i read their names in that MGM presentation slide but i dun remember it now..
i really tot that indo is so cool since long2 time ago.. i'm always amazed when i read the history of indo.. 1 of the coolest is how acehnese beats the dutch huge ships only using "bambu runcing" (sharp bamboo) and "rakit/getek" (those flat simple floating piece made of bamboos)
first time i heard about that in primary school i was like "yes, that's rite.. that's my people!!"
i'm so proud of indo..
so yea why i'm proud of indo drives malays to make an independent movement.. coz i know the history that indo been always in that trial to b independent all decades long towards dutch, but i was surprised that i know other countries around are actually don't have a strong willing and courage history like indonesia!!
hmm.. that nite in MGM in that short moment about malays admit that they were influenced by indo i was like "yea that's rite!!.." i was sooooooooooo proud and nearly fall into tears when i knew that.. all the pictures of independence war pops up in my mind again and i love to keep that kind of spirit in me..

so that's the part of the big proud with happiness..
now goes to the part of the small proud in my heart with bits of sadness..

i felt that culture and knowledge about countries both malaysia and indonesia are not taught well towards the new generations..
from my perspective from what kebaya and batik sarong that those malaysians wore loudly say that "i'm probably dunno what batik or kebaya am i wearing"

i know that most of the people lately are opened enuf to appreciate any culture but i dun think that wearing indonesian kebaya on Malaysian independence day event is good..
but seriously kebaya is still ok, coz lately it really mixed up from all around and it also get modernised.
but some of em wearing indo's batik!! 1 of em i remember wearing a modernised indo "batik parang rusak" it's basically a parang rusak pattern but it's very geometrical, shows that it probably made by computer.. but however, the point is.. DO THEY EVEN KNOW WHAT ARE THEY WEARING?

(2 pics on the left are examples of "parang rusak" pattern that are originally from djogjakarta)

don't the malaysians hv their own batik patterns?
or is it indo hv been the best in batik and end up dominating?
i juz dun wanna hear from those malaysians 1 day that they think that those are their heritage..

Josh for example.. dun even know what are the malaysian curry types called, as long as they taste good then they'll eat it.. and i dun think any of the peepz in our table in that MGM dinner know the difference between the curries and the names T_T
at least i know that most indo's really know what are their foods called even tho some of em dunno the difference..

i'm not saying that i know everything, but i'm a person who regret that i'm not educated well enuf to know indo's heritages.. and that's why i'm concern on these kind of education..
coz i think that if you dunno your culture and heritages then you don't hv nationality.. you are lost! no identity!
and i do hope that this will drives my friends to at least know a bit of their culture in daily life..
lets bring our heritages and culture up!!

(i'll discuss the malaysian and indonesian's conflict about heritages later when i hv time)
but juz fyi.. there was a big case between indo n malay in heritage issue last year..
about malay's tourism board use indo's heritage to promote their country..
i can't really judge that malay is wrong too in the case that i know lots of malaysians are lack of identity in culture n heritages.. so yea.. please learn from your grandma or grandpa about cultures and heritages..

btw.. fyi.. i love kebaya and sarong and kebaya modern.. dang i dun mind if you guys wanna help me collecting em =P they r expensive dude.. but i'll defenitely gonna keep some money and collect em!!
i'm hunting a good and decent balinese kebaya since 3 years ago mate..
any1 know bout this please inform me..

peace out!

the stupid day again..

so today i work my assignment till 3am and managed to wake up at 7 and continue bits of my assignment, breakfast, bath, and still have 1 spare hour to sleep and still hv time to go to uni early

this time i'm happy for myself coz i can work like that again, not being such a spoilt brat and put sleep as a top priority. not really proud about my work tho.. coz i've been delaying it and still do so so only for this stats computing. as usual i'm not good in computing..
and the stupid me do some same stupid mistakes that i've been doing since i was in school..
so since i'm good with my time and i can sleep some more i end up over slept T_T
and this assignment can't be hand it late (T_T;) *swt*

i felt so stupid about my mistake.. i've been doing it for ages..

so yea, done with my 1st mistake i dunno why i was clumsy today and i left my coat in the computer lab.. and i've walked out the building and then i just remember so i came back..
after dat i continue my day with lunch and 1.5hour of boring lecture but it is interesting tho.. but i can't stand my sleepiness..
so there he comes my poor dear old man lecturer called steve ward that i love so much talking and i'm sleeping..
haiz.. i love that old man so much.. he really makes me wanna be like him lately..
so full of patience and nice, teaching technical drawing, work a lot with technical drawing..
he really happy when he find out that i'm handling perspective quite well..
he felt my excitement about doing perspective assignment and he smiled at me when i'm talking to him.. i think he's happy to find the real me..

continue with my day..
so after the lecture we got 20mins break -the class is still going on after that for another 2hours- and since josh msg me before the break i decided to hv extra lunch n meet him, since that whole day i won't see him much if i dun see him during lunch..
-if you read properly then u know that i had lunch between my class- =D
so i extended my break till 1 hour =P juz becoz i really want to hv time with josh
coz i know whatever the tute work is i can finish it in 1hour..

it's my job man.. my life! i've been living in my glorious 'perspective' life for more than 5years!

so yea day continued but i end it here in my blog

coffee life

long long time ago when i was still in primary school i read 1 comic book that tells about how the taste of coffee relates to life.

in the comic it says that if you get broken hearted, go drink a very bitter coffee therefore you can taste the bitterness of the life.
that time i don't really understand what does it means, but it been always drives me to drink coffee. i tot that the meaning in the comic is if you taste the bitterness of coffee then u'll b tougher or understand life better or sumthin like that.

so till this long finally i find out what it means...

so how i find it out is when i was chatting around with 1 of my friend after uni.

she ate "boost" chocolate and i drank latte without sugar. when chit-chating about our problems i'm kinda getting tempted by her chocolate, not my fave, but it tempt me.

especially my coffee was quite bitter and i was imaginating how nice it would be if i combine the choc taste and the bitter coffee, must b perfect..

so at the end of the meeting i bought the choc, and i'm still having my coffee..

but after i had a bite of the choc i felt that the coffee is even more bitter and it's killing me..

so then i realise what is the relation between coffee and life..

basically it's the common understanding about "adaptation"

when you used to drink bitter coffee you will still be able to taste the sweetness of choco

= you can enjoy both

but if u're not used to the bitter coffee and u used to eat choco then you can't taste the good thing out of coffee

= you only can enjoy choc and won't go for bitter coffee..

so when you have to relate it to life, lets get love life for example,

if you hv too much romance n love you'll b super stressed when u have problems and found the hurting side of the love.
but if you're used to broken hearted experience then the sweetness of love would feel even sweeter and you'll treasure it. yet, you still can adapt to the sweetness without being too spoiled in love.

this really a common sense but hard to do in real life..
the hardest part is to balance between the bitter and sweet.
coz of course no-one would stand the bitter for all life long..
and it is normal if human only wants sweetnesses..

but love is quite magical if you do it sincerely, you'll stay in the bitterness and believe that it is sweet after all, and cherish the sweetness so much when u find it.

i had a problem with josh since last week, it was a very tough week where i had assignments and still have to calm my brain down from thinking negative stuff . when i talk with 1 of my friend on that tea time the coffee really answers my questions why did i stay so calmly and strongly like that beside him. coz i love him so much till that i would believe in him, i believe that he's the 1 that will bring the best out of me and i believe that i can be the best for him.
i proud of myself of what i've been through and done.
i never tot that i would be able to do such a thing in my age of 20.
i 'm surprised to see the mature side of me that i've been waiting for years.

sorry that i can't specify the problem coz it's a bit personal, and this is in internet.
and i've been making josh's name bad and i don't wanna make it worse and would like to keep his reputation good in front of my friends.

however, keep the bitter and sweet in your life balanced
sorry for being too serious.. this is me..


well, basically the coffee would even taste more bitter if you always see Josh's face in the cup like in this picture..
peace Josh!! =D

staying up late again

" it is hard to be a respected man of the world,
but it is harder to be a respected woman in the world
as man can achieve by hardwork and woman by quality"



the thing is that you can train yourself to b a hardworker but to hv a quality you hv to be naturally born with a lil piece of it and then you still need to shape it all life long.
and man can b respected only coz of his career achievement but woman hv to be good in housekeeping, raising child and career.

leisure sunday, running away from works!..

so so so so!.... yo wassup guys?
imma doin my work in josh place now but still in trial step in making model
which is i suppose to b in the stage of making the final model ady XD
and joshie is not here btw.. he's out to gimme some new gossip bout new girl =P
can't wait to know what's goin on.. =D

ow ow.. and please this time i wanna get comments tellin me lists of girls that liked josh perviously.. since i can't believe that sooooo many girls likes his ugly face!!
even i wouldn't like him if i know him more than just 1 week of nothing..
since i'll fiind his "abeng-ness", kampung-ness, spitting habit, hamsap habit, gambling, smoking and "richie" attitude n etc etc.. haiz.. malaysian girls' taste is so low meh??

so back to the point of this entry.. today is such a leisure day.. went to fish market with adrian chin and chung ho and 2 of his friends.. we had sooooooooooooo much of seafood but still i wasn't full T_T especially i dun feel satisfied with the amount of salmon sashimi that i ate.
and after that we walked to around QVB accompany adrian to buy jacket, so we went to check out FCUK adrian n josh's fave brand.. and i was looking around too..

surprisingly!!! i found things that i like in fcuk!! usually i like fcuk in indo but not the 1 in oz
and here i am.. trying sooooo many things and things that josh said nice.
and the biggest surprise is that i found my size for things that i like
and every single thing that i like look gorgeous on me this time!!!!! god sake!! finally the dog found its day!!
and this lead to bad news that i gotta do crazy damn expensive shopping and i hope i was dreaming that i found those coz it was just a dream i won't buy any rite?? =P
no money!!! but i'm ready to get bankrupt for these dressess..

here are the list:
- 1 black ruffle dress (unluckily dun hv the pic)

- 1 med fluffy black jacket + big bow on collar (this is the green version and the real shit is looking way better than this and made me look like a doll)

- 1 dark denim mini strapless dress



- 1 cotton knit dress (been waiting)











- 1 white off shoulder top with baloon arms (i'm crazy for off shoulders!!)












- 1 red elastic belt (amazingly is my size!!)

yes yes.. i know it's scary!! but what can i do?? i rarely find outfits that suits me!!
or simply find my size!!

and i'm going to try this 1 later =P....ow and they prolly look so so.. but if i bought em i'll take pics and show how cool they are!!
so better pray for me to get sooooooooooo much money!!! pray for me to b sooooo prosper!!
cya guys.. gotta continue working

Seduce!!!

hi peepz!!
so we're talking about seduction for today..
the story is.. 2 days ago to b exact it was 4th august 12:01:40 AM i took a photo of jon wong while chatting with him (by his request). He said,"so then u can blog about chatting with me"
so here we go, an entry for dear sir jon wong..

so he just shaved his hair baldy and he's so proud to show me what was he look like in his beanies..
this dear sir was in the dark and NAKED!!! lay down on his bed in the "cleopatra" pose
--he's trying to seduce me =P--

he prolly won't blog about his hair and all this, but he was looking a bit funny n kiddy with his new hair but i reckon that hair rily suits him, better with short hairs ^^
and he does look good with his beanie..
so here it is the photo of the new jon wong!!..

i know it's very very dark, and u barely can see the new hair
but hey, we still got his face in this entry!! ;D

sssshh!... secret..

i'm not going to class from 10-11 just now =P
because i prefer to hv a bath and breakfast
and this is the first time i skip for semester 2 it was a stats lab, about excel i suppose..
i'm a bit afraid that i missed something tho, but i'll see..


~~~~~~( ^ - ^ )~~~~~~

{
}
{
}
{
}
{
{
}
{
i took
bit of photos
for fun

=P josh sleeping

}
{
}
{
{
}
.
.
.
.
.
..
.

grrr... i'll kill him!

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

stay cool after breaching his peaceful sleeping privacy

~~~~~~fin~~~~~~

i replanned my day today.. since things shifted..
and now i gtg to bank!! c ya lataz..
there're lots of things that i wanna blog lately but dun hv time to finish yet, so..
see ya guys soon.. prolly tonite..

cheers!

what is a boyfriend for me?

when i was cooking tonight suddenly i remember that i never feel lonely when i don't hv bf, but i always complains about being lonely when i don't hv friends around..

i remember about this coz i've been so cold towards josh today..
i'm wondering how could i be that ignorant towards my bf n feel like i don't need him
lately i feel bit tired taking care of the baby prince joshua the "tird", exactly not third..
get rid off the h on it.. how does it sound like? exactly!! the t*rd!!
i was cold coz i dun wanna care bout him anymore since i feel that i dun need him
and he dun need me anyway, so why should i serve him?
why should i care? he dun care bout me that much either..

therefore, after i think again n again,
prolly i love to hv a bf coz i'll hv a very very very best friend..
and these individuals that r attracted to me would treat me nice rite??
and they will be so close to me rite??
they will always b there for me coz they love me rite??
it means they can b my very best friend n team mate in life rite???

ow well, i dunno why i hate it when i can just dun care about my bf n treat him like a stranger that i dun rily like.. i feel that it's irresponsible, especially bout the bit that i'm tired taking care of him when he don't even care about what i feel, what i bla bla bla..

haiz.. in the end the conclusion is bf is a guy that have a special relationship with me yet he's my very very very best friend at once
i love my very very very best friend the 1 and only.. my bf for now!!! =P joshua lee..

and i do love you guys my BFFs:
vina, triady, samuel ---- nice to know that we've been peeing each other
when we were in kindergarten =P
tita, catherine, winnie.. --- people that i spent most of my days in my adolescence the most!!
you guys rock!!!
i miss my friends =[
lucky i have my josh here in sydney, if i don't i must be very suffering..
love you josh.. ^^

i know it's weird i just say that he's a "tird" at the begining and now i say that i love him
but that's love.. you hate that person but you love him even more and then u'll hate him again for u can't hate him coz u love him!! twisted?? josh twisted bout this too
i was twisted bout this too before i experienced it myself..

sorry that this post is not that good
and it's a bit twisty coz it's about lots of things that is happening in my head

hopefully it helps u guys to know me better!! ^^
ciao!

the best of the suckest..

sooow.. hi! again!
i'm in the middle of doing my drawing rite now but i'm being slack now..

continue talking about my skills particularly in technical drawing for today..
(sorry to jon that i put aside the blog about him =P
coz i'm using josh's computer rite now n ur pic is in my comp.)

so, since lecturers says that i am a "no skill" i gotta tell u sumthin.. err.. actually i really hope that all of my high school friends whom knew bout my attitude in tech draw classes read this entry..
i was 1 of the best tech drawer in my high school always got minimum of 70 and max of 85, well basically if u can get 90 or 100 then u're a pro already.. since my teacher was an architect.
and i was soooo crazy if i found 1mm mistakes.. n i can gone crazy yelling n stuff.. n my classmates says that i'm too perfectionist that taking 1mm so seriously.. they tot that i'm such a nerd in drawing..
so since now my teachers said that i'm an NS (no skill) now i remember how i find my friends r crazy n more nerdy..

in 1 of the classes a friend of mind (david costa) suddenly yell n swears,

i was like,"wat happened? u did mistakes?"

and he said,"no, it's juz that i just chipped the point of my (automatic) pencil and therefore it won't b aligned well with the ruler"
i was like, wtf.. i didn't notice such a problem ever in my life..
n we're talking about around 0.1 -to 0.25mm mistake!!
god sake.. 0.25mm!!! mi-li-me-te-r!!!
i hardly believe that it would b a matter..

and there r few other perfectionist thing n pro things that they do but i dun remember
the other one was..

during the first few weeks in sem 1 (i was a total noob)
when i just start drawing some constuctional lines suddenly my friend (toby) said
,"is that ur constructional lines?"
me: "yes"
toby: "u better make it lighter" (means my lines were too thick)
me: "should i?? coz i've been doing this for few years n never told to make it lighter"
"shouldn't b a problem i think.."
toby: "oh well, i dunno then"
n at the end the teacher didn't say anything bout it too..

and believe me there r few other magics that i saw in my classes, there is this china girl draw shading very fast and nicely last week.. over all the drawing was so pro
and there's another nerdy looking tall guy that wears medium thickness black frame specs with curly hair and most of the time i saw him wearing long sleeves and turtle necks when cold
he's damn looking nerdy n soooo designer-ish look and attitude..

he always do the magic during tech draw.. he definitely know what to do straight after the lecturer tell us to do some drawings.. and he do it fast most of the time, and his drawing is always neat.. i'm so speechless looking at these kind of people
so yea, hopefully i can b more skillful next time..

Quadruple!!

so i forgot to blog about this.. like around 1-2weeks ago me n josh play doll catching again..
this time we catch sandals, they r very cute, warm n nice to wear..
n we got 2 pairs for us ^^ since we also need sandals at home, so we're so happy about this..
and few days later on heman's b'day we decided to catch the sandals for him, and we also play around and i got lucky when i try to catch this cute nohohon zoku..
here's the story:

so we've been trying to catch the other colours after we got the yellow 1 long time ago, and we never can get any.. but this time we nearly got it.. but....
when i press right it goes *tuuuuuuuuuuut* and then press backwards *tuuuuu..k*
suddenly the press is off in the middle of the way.. i was like "wat the.."
but then when it goes down n catch, it actually took 2 colours that we've been wanting XD
i was like "wat the.." in a way i was amazed.. me n josh was speechless.. in the other way i was so scared that it will drop coz taking 2 won't b stable..
but in fact!!! it was so darn bloody stable on the air till it drops for us!!! omg.. can't say nothing..
so here r the photos
of our new family in josh's place..

the whole family

the quadruple kids and the parents

quite the worse day i've ever been

the sad case day was my sad cases b'days
but today is even worse than that i think..
well here are the details..

had quarrel with josh again last nite n this 1 really really hurts me..
i don't really understand how to deal with him sometimes..
however, after the quarrel i went to play piano in uni while thinking things..
after that i went home n since i'm so in a bad day so i end up watching tv till late nite and coz of that i end up being over slept this morning n came to class late by 10mins, and didn't have breakfast..
dun really hv breakfast at home anyway..
n then i had class from 9-5 without breaks.. well we got breaks of 10 mins n so but not really useful for me anyway.. since i only hv $1.50 in my pocket what can i do? so i didn't had food for the whole day.. n it was a cold grey day T_T really i feel so pathetic..
and in the beginning of the class the 1st task was designing a perfume bottle according to the scent, n i have a problem with strong scents.. so i end up hurts my nose n it's running till now.
n only find josh at 5 n follow him to fix his phone to randwick n he done the deal around 6.10
and then we go to KFC near by to eat. i'm glad i ate today n be able to see josh till around 7.30
but that's about it for the fun of the day
can't see josh, didn't had hugs n kisses from him, n won't be seeing him till tmr dunno wat time will he feel like letting me to see him.
when i reached home n checked email i got even more upset by an email from my lecturer, saying that i failed 3 main subjects of designs not coz of my laziness or watsoever..
i tot that i was failed coz of my laziness.. and i said to people b4 that i'm not artistic enuf n peepz said that must not b the reasons..
but this time 3 of my lecturers agree that i'm inadequate in drawing and making models..
this is the worse news ever in my life.. EVER!!!
i know i'm not good in drawin, but i've done 1 of the best of mine in my portfolio last semester! and they say that it's inadequate!!!! i did the most idea brainstorm and comments for the last project and they didn't even say that i'm "so so"!!!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.....

how can't i say that this is the day of my doom???
last time in foundation i failed coz they say i'm not artistic enough, and now they say that i'm inadequate in DRAWING particularly.. i was expecting at least i was so so..

i've been in a breakdown for 2 years about my dream to design, and now is the craziest breakdown for me..
i'm trying to get up now, but still.. i'm still afraid.. tho no one really ever say that i'm good in designing so will there be a bright future for me in design?? i'm guessing about it now..
but i dn't see any brightness in this darkness..