quite the worse day i've ever been

the sad case day was my sad cases b'days
but today is even worse than that i think..
well here are the details..

had quarrel with josh again last nite n this 1 really really hurts me..
i don't really understand how to deal with him sometimes..
however, after the quarrel i went to play piano in uni while thinking things..
after that i went home n since i'm so in a bad day so i end up watching tv till late nite and coz of that i end up being over slept this morning n came to class late by 10mins, and didn't have breakfast..
dun really hv breakfast at home anyway..
n then i had class from 9-5 without breaks.. well we got breaks of 10 mins n so but not really useful for me anyway.. since i only hv $1.50 in my pocket what can i do? so i didn't had food for the whole day.. n it was a cold grey day T_T really i feel so pathetic..
and in the beginning of the class the 1st task was designing a perfume bottle according to the scent, n i have a problem with strong scents.. so i end up hurts my nose n it's running till now.
n only find josh at 5 n follow him to fix his phone to randwick n he done the deal around 6.10
and then we go to KFC near by to eat. i'm glad i ate today n be able to see josh till around 7.30
but that's about it for the fun of the day
can't see josh, didn't had hugs n kisses from him, n won't be seeing him till tmr dunno wat time will he feel like letting me to see him.
when i reached home n checked email i got even more upset by an email from my lecturer, saying that i failed 3 main subjects of designs not coz of my laziness or watsoever..
i tot that i was failed coz of my laziness.. and i said to people b4 that i'm not artistic enuf n peepz said that must not b the reasons..
but this time 3 of my lecturers agree that i'm inadequate in drawing and making models..
this is the worse news ever in my life.. EVER!!!
i know i'm not good in drawin, but i've done 1 of the best of mine in my portfolio last semester! and they say that it's inadequate!!!! i did the most idea brainstorm and comments for the last project and they didn't even say that i'm "so so"!!!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.....

how can't i say that this is the day of my doom???
last time in foundation i failed coz they say i'm not artistic enough, and now they say that i'm inadequate in DRAWING particularly.. i was expecting at least i was so so..

i've been in a breakdown for 2 years about my dream to design, and now is the craziest breakdown for me..
i'm trying to get up now, but still.. i'm still afraid.. tho no one really ever say that i'm good in designing so will there be a bright future for me in design?? i'm guessing about it now..
but i dn't see any brightness in this darkness..