stupid

i have 1 friend which become a psychologist
she said i have to stop calling myself stupid
she've been soooo mad everytime i say i am stupid
coz she said i am not stupid
and according to her,
keep on calling yourself stupid can affect your psychology
which gonna reduce your confidence,
performance, and in fact
continued to reduce your chances and choices in life.

in psychology, all the things that you do have a reason
for example you'll feel pretty coz your parents, your
relatives and people around you must have been calling
you pretty since you're small
therefore you wouldn't think about
plastic surgery, diet, or watsoever

and in my case, my whole family been calling me stupid
since i was young, because i was way younger than them
obviously i look stupid so badly for them.

in real life, i stupid, but not that stupid.
lotsa people notice that i'm bright.
at least for sometimes..

but today, now,
i really do feel so stupid, ugly
coz not even a patience can handle me
not even the closest person think so
not even bright in the worse ones

now i start to think..
probably i should stay with that old stupid place
that would give me some confidence and bring me to life

a stupid place can stop me to shrink
and change myself as fast as Ali

but why that stupid place only can makes me feel safe
while i'm a person that can't stand monotonuous


all around the world knows
the fact that
the most prosperous place is the most dangerous place
but yet
the safest place on earth is the most rubbish place.

why sucha rule have to be there in this world.
it juz gives me headache.
n makes me become like now..
talking crap in here
letting people confused and only understand that
"oh.. she said that she's stupid"
oh well.. juz pitter patter chitter chatter
bizz buzzin, with no direction
so please lemme float here
like a shit in the river
and you don't need to care.

thank you..